a strong psychological force producing intense desire for something, or circumstance, while already having a significant amount of the desired object.

There are some who like the puzzle of ropes and those who prefer the allure of masks. Some like to wriggle around in wet-look liquorice-toned PVC sucking their fingertips and others want to be cosseted in the baby bluest sense of the word. Some wear red scream lipstick and dark kohl around their eyes with midnight noir stockings and 80’s lace. There are those who forbid speech and some who demand it. Some want to be spoon fed, others want finger-feeding. There are those who like the texture of spit and satin, others who leave welts and bruises like they are French kisses.

You obsess over desire in the same way voyeurs obsess over watching.

You are wanting to watch for an inordinate period. You are wanting to drink condensed milk from a man’s fingertips lick by lick, to take a peach half in your mouth with the glut of syrup crying down your neck. You are wanting unfeasibly long suppers around a table with a man and hot fat from taper candles where the conversation is an intellectual undressing. You are wanting to put your mouth against the edges of anybody. You are wanting your full-length gown and gloves to be taken off by ghosts in an abandoned house purpled by silence, you are wanting to swim until your body is a bleak, blue colding. You are wanting to use subterranean words: sandy, dusty, clayey, muddy, glimmer, loaming. You are wanting the rubber of a Wellington at the back of your throat. You are wanting to be the s in lust because of the way u kneels for t. You are wanting contact between kitteny eyes on a bus somewhere to become an erotic euphemism. You are wanting to wear boots whose zips unfasten to make their own punctuation. You are wanting to be dressed very cautiously, and with grace. You are wanting to be made to drink sips from the same cup. You are wanting to hold wrists, tongue out the basements of veins. You are wanting opaque and silver and smoky and sharp, and dance, and a long drop, and all the darkest ways of being careless.